


lying is my forte, but i'm not so good at being honest

by i_was_human



Series: what do you desire? [4]
Category: Lost in Translation (Webcomic)
Genre: Abuse, Ahn Jaewon | Wyld Is A Cinnamon Roll, Angst, Gen, Sad, a bit of fluff at the end
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-07
Updated: 2020-09-07
Packaged: 2021-03-07 01:20:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,027
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26344771
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/i_was_human/pseuds/i_was_human
Summary: Snapshots in a story of misery - neither the climax, nor the conclusion.or: Dongho tells a lot of lies, and nobody really notices.
Relationships: Ahn Jaewon | Wyld & Kang Dongho | D.Min & Kim Daehyun
Series: what do you desire? [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1888651
Comments: 1
Kudos: 24





	lying is my forte, but i'm not so good at being honest

It's genius, really.

Allow people to know one thing's wrong - allow Daehyun and Jaewon to know he's bone-numbingly tired - and they won't look further.

Dongho considers it a blessing.

They don't have time to look deeper, don't have time to notice that it's not the whole truth, and that's _great_ , Dongho thinks, staring into the mirror, because it's pretty fucking blatant.

The company expects him to keep up his image with too-little food and too-little sleep, but they _don't_.

Not really.

Strong enough to fight back, but not strong enough to fight back against _them_.

What a hypocritical stance. 

His fingers ghost over the bruises mottling his chest, over his sharp cheekbones and dull hair, and he closes his eyes, letting his hands tell him what his eyes refuse to see.

Too skinny.

He reopens his eyes, staring at his reflection - hair limp, eyes dull, a bruise peeking out from under his too-big shirt - and his nails dig into the porcelain basin, a fresh wave of _griefsadnessguilt_ washing over him.

Things should be better than this.

He picks up the bottle of painkillers and taps two into his hand, swallowing them dry.

Mercy is an unknown concept at High Class.

Still, he thinks, staring at his reflection, at least Jaewon and Daehyun aren't getting hurt like this.

That's what he told himself - back when he could still fight back, back when gym days weren't abandoned in favor of getting enough sleep to focus for more than two seconds, back when things were passably okay instead of _wrecked_.

He's gotten better at lying.

When was it, he wonders, staring at the dark splotches under his eyes, that he turned into someone who traded in deceit?

* * *

Sometimes, when they're dancing, he'll look in the mirror and imagine something better.

Imagine a world where he didn't sell his soul to a fucked-up company to prove his parents wrong, imagine a world where he isn't the leader, imagine a world where Jaewon's smiles and Daehyun's laughs aren't so _horribly fake_.

He doesn't focus much anymore - isn't paid to (isn't paid, period) - but he's trying, pushing forwards for Jaewon and Daehyun's sakes.

He doesn't know what he'd do if they got hurt because of him.

It's the single thing he can cling to - _they are okay, and he is helping_ \- and it gets him through the worst days.

(occasionally, it dawns on him - how pathetic he is, how pathetic this is - and then something always comes to remind him how there's absolutely nothing he can do about it.

he's a puppet - nothing more.)

He's not doing very well, not doing much more than complying and living, but Lee Minsoo has the potential to cut the razor wire he balances on.

The silver-haired man seemingly shows up at their dorm multiple times a week, always bringing food and games, and Dongho doesn't know what the fuck his game is, but he's not participating.

He wouldn't dream of stopping his dongsaengs, though. The trio's game nights are one of the best parts of their weeks.

Still, Dongho doesn't have time to reach out, doesn't have time to think of a way to go _backwards_ on the razor wire, because if he keeps going forwards, there's an end at some point.

He clings to that futile hope as tight as he can, and he doesn't know what he'll do if it slips from his grasp.

* * *

"Today's practice was not up to par."

Dongho nods, keeping his head bowed and hands clasped behind his back.

"I expected better from you."

Footsteps tapping on smooth laminate, muscular arms clearly visible-

"I think sixty minutes should do it, don't you?"

Dongho really, really doesn't want to be here.

The man grips his chin, yanking his head up, and Dongho flinches as the dark gaze of their dance instructor meets his.

" _Don't you_?"

"Yes, sir."

He should've gone home.

"Actually," the man hums, and Dongho's heart plummets, "I think you need to be taught a _lesson_. Something to make you _pay attention_."

It'll be quicker at least, Dongho dismally reflects, squaring his jaw as the instructor drives a fist into his cheek.

* * *

"What happened?"

Dongho shakes his head, the motion sending his mind swirling. "Tripped."

Daehyun frowns at him, but lets the matter drop.

* * *

"Dong _ho_ ," Minsoo whines, leaning over the back of his chair to blink at the eldest. "Santa Claus, come play with us!"

"Santa Claus?" Dongho deadpans, and Minsoo nods.

"Ho-ho-ho!"

Dongho stares at him for a moment, nonplussed, but Minsoo isn't letting this go.

"You have the white hair, too!"

"No. I have work."

"You're no fun," Minsoo whines, chucking his cards across the room. "Come play with us!"

"You're just upset you're losing," Daehyun deadpans, and Minsoo gasps, mock-offended. 

"I was _not_ losing!"

"You were losing."

Jaewon silently deals out new hands to everyone, and Dongho sighs, reaching up to rub his eye.

It's going to swell like hell tomorrow.

"Hyung?" the redhead murmurs, and Dongho blinks at him, unsure. "Do you want to play a round?"

"C' _mon_ ," Minsoo whines, blinking owlishly at him. "Come play a round with your favorite sunbae!"

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

"Hyung," Jaewon whispers, reaching out to place a hand on Minsoo's forearm. "Drop it."

Minsoo stares at him for a moment, stunned, but he leans back up to grasp his cards, lips pursed in a thin line. "Fine."

Dongho slips off to the bathroom, grabbing a pair of painkillers and swallowing them once more. 

God, he's tired.

* * *

"Hyung...?"

Jaewon pushes open the door, socked feet silent against the hardwood as he tiptoes inside. "Hyung, are you still awake?"

He flicks on his phone flashlight, and his lips curl into a grin at the sight in front of him. 

Dongho's sprawled across his bed, a bit of drool leaking from the corner of his mouth and legs tangled in his sheets. Jaewon's lips curl into a grin at the sight - it's been a while since he's seen Dongho relaxed enough to starfish over the mattress like this - and he tugs the elder's blanket over his shoulders, ruffling his straw-like hair before heading back to his room.

"Sleep well, hyung."

**Author's Note:**

> checking back in with my desire bois and it isn't going so hot
> 
> sorry for how short this is
> 
> fic title from yobanashi deceive
> 
> [twit](https://twitter.com/i_was_human_) | [lit fic discord!](https://discord.gg/CNunB74)


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